In the Beginning: the Birth of a Non-Dating Guru

by

Nona Beaumont

            A few months ago, I gave up talking to men. Not that it had ever been a huge pastime of mine. Kind of like my habit of “giving up dieting for Lent,” or “giving up shopping,” when a closer examination would reveal the bank accounts are empty and the credit cards are maxed. Saying that we “give up” something, instead of that we “can’t have” something, creates the illusion of power, of choice. Having problems with delusion? Be strong, proactive, powerful: Choose illusion!

            My giving up talking to men did not happen by simple default. It was a very deliberate, and very specific, decision -- a choice I made the day my [male] therapist kicked me out of therapy. Ever since that day, I have had the best conversations with men. It has been so good that I decided to write this book to share my secret.

I guess I should start with the specifics -- defining terms is always important, and even more so in a world where everyone is lying. So, I’m going to try to shake off the delusion that is so common it’s like air. I’m going to be honest. And you are fortunate to have found this book, because just like everyone is breathing, everyone is lying to you (except me, of course).

You may ask, “Nona, how do you reconcile the fact that you say ‘I’ve given up talking to men,’ and then go on to also say that you now have the best conversations ever with men? That seems contradictory -- even crazy. Why should we listen to you?” Good questions. Now stop pretending you already know the answers and we just might get somewhere.

It’s really more about perspective. The fact that these conversations have for the most part been “imaginary” is incidental. Some people have real conversations with imaginary people. THAT is crazy. You see them shuffling around in twenty layers of clothing, kicking a can as they mumble to someone who isn’t there. What I do is the exact opposite, and therefore, I conclude, it is perfectly sane:

             I have imaginary conversations with real people. Doing so keeps your toes dipped in reality while not causing passers by to cross to the opposite side of the street for fear of tripping on your imaginary buddy’s imaginary knapsack; plus, it’s so much safer than having real conversations with real people -- they will only hurt you... like my therapist hurt me the day I gave up talking to men.

The above is an excerpt from the introduction to my introductory book. 

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