4th of July stream of consciousness mantra
[to be read aloud to your cats when they get spooked by the fireworks and jump in the carton of ice cream you are consuming, alone]
Today we celebrate freedom.
We have lots of freedom, but not the freedom to infringe upon the freedom of others. That means you can't make a man love you against his will. Voodoo is unethical -- and un-American -- and restraining orders are obtainable, even on holidays in extreme circumstances.
But back to freedom...
Let freedom ring!!![sob, sob]
You see? You see? That's why I hate holidays!
They all conspire against single women.
"Let freedom Ring."
Ring?
Why couldn't they choose a different word?!! Yet another cruel holiday. Reminding me of my empty ring finger and the freedom I have... to be alone.
At least I don't have to share this ice cream.
What are you looking at, Whiskers? You know dairy gives you gas, and since you are going to be the only one in bed with me tonight, I must....
This is sad. Perhaps there are better 4th of July traditions we can focus on -- other than letting freedom... clang.
How about fireworks?
Well, shoot!
Not only was there no Afternoon Delight for me, but I get to spend the night in bed with a lactose-intolerant cat who has been double-dipping in my coping mechanism.
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